I am just surprised at this because when we meet, it’s as if he doesn’t want to say something but, when I’m not there, he wants to see me again
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I recently met a guy through a mutual friend who was very shy and didn’t really chat with me all evening. I tried making conversation with him, but it was hard because it felt as if he didn’t want to say much. He was interesting, and came across as polite and sweet, which is why I kept trying even though it felt very one-sided. We exchanged numbers and, a few days after we met, he asked if I would consider meeting him for coffee. I was curious so I agreed but, when I got there, he was as shy as he was when we first met, and I was the only one who kept speaking. I was very confused and then, a day later, he asked me out again. I am just surprised at this because when we meet, it’s as if he doesn’t want to say something but, when I’m not there, he wants to see me again. What do I make of it?
It’s up to you, really. It’s obvious that he wants to get to know you better, but things can’t continue in this manner if you’re the only one doing the hard work. It’s okay for him to be shy and take some time to get out of his shell, but you have to evaluate the impact of this shyness on you. Ask yourself if you like this person and want to take the effort it may obviously take to get to know him too. If you’re prepared to do that, and be patient until he opens up, you can keep meeting him with no expectations. If, on the other hand, you would prefer it if he made his expectations explicit, ask him direct questions and put an end to it if there are no clear responses forthcoming.
How do I get over the betrayal of a former friend who was one of the closest people in my life?
Time is usually the only way, clichéd as it may sound. It changes your perspective.
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