Focus on trust, keep lines of communication open, and always speak when you have something on your mind
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have been married for a little over a year, and my husband can’t seem to accept some of my family members. He has problems with them and constantly criticizes them, which I don’t understand. This causes a lot of unnecessary issues between us. We have a great marriage and love each other a lot, but I seem to accept his family without question and can’t understand why he doesn’t extend that same courtesy to me. I want to get him to know them better. How do I do this?
This isn’t something you need to do, given that the onus of being more accepting of your relatives lies on him. These are all adults, and he needs to extend the same courtesy to them that you do to his family, because that is what mutual respect is about. If he claims to love and respect you, your family is part of what makes you. Tell him why this matters to you, and why everyone is entitled to live the way they choose to. They don’t owe him an explanation, just as he doesn’t owe them one for his own choices. If he doesn’t grasp this simple idea, he needs to be told that it isn’t what healthy relationships are about.
My boyfriend is leaving for another city, and I am afraid of what this will mean for us because I have never been in a long-distance relationship before. What should or shouldn’t I do? He is very confident that it won’t change anything, but I am not so sure.
There are challenges that come with all long-distance relationships, of course, but they can be resolved if you are both committed to making this work. Wanting to be together is half the battle won, so his confidence is a great sign. Focus on trust, keep lines of communication open, and always speak when you have something on your mind.
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