I can’t stop thinking about her which is why I am ready to try anything if it means getting to know her better. Please help
Illustration/Uday Mohite
There is a girl I go to college with whom I have a huge crush on. She knows me but we don’t chat beyond pleasantries. I have tried everything I can to get her to speak to me more, but there are no opportunities. We have no common friends so I can’t even get someone to introduce us formally outside class. I am thinking of asking her to study with me because it seems like a safe idea. That way, she won’t assume anything about me, and we may be able to slowly discuss things outside of the academic space. Is this a good idea? I can’t stop thinking about her which is why I am ready to try anything if it means getting to know her better. Please help.
It’s okay to have strong feelings about someone, but some measure of reality always helps. This is someone who knows of your existence and is an adult like you are. Asking her to study with you may sound like a great idea to you but may not make sense to someone who doesn’t know anything about your personal life or your academic record. It is much simpler to gather some courage and ask her out for a cup of coffee, because it declares your interest in an obvious manner, and allows her to consider or reject that request without too much of a fuss. She has the right to refuse, and her decision will give you a sense of whether this is going to go anywhere. If she isn’t interested, respect that and move on.
I am insecure about the way my body looks and it is affecting my dating life. How do I change this perception about myself?
Insecurity about one’s body is common and not always easy to manage by oneself. It’s great that you are aware of this though because it allows you to ask for help and build coping mechanisms. Speak to a counsellor, consider therapy, and accept that this may take some time.
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