Talk to her about this if you want to avoid the possibility of regret, but do it with your eyes open given the reality of her situation
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I love a girl whom I was friends with when we were in college. I never shared my feelings with her because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I am worried now, because she is getting married soon and I don’t know what to do. Please help.
— Tushar M
There’s not much you can do at this point, given that she has chosen to spend her life with someone she presumably wants to. If you are still friends, you can tell her how you feel, of course, provided you are prepared for rejection. If she had feelings for you, you would have had an inkling by now, if not a direct hint. Given that she has offered neither in all the time you have known each other, it’s probably safe to assume she doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. Talk to her about this if you want to avoid the possibility of regret, but do it with your eyes open given the reality of her situation.
There was a guy I genuinely liked, whom I pushed away because I thought it would bring him closer to me. I thought it would make him want to try harder, but it had the opposite effect. He now stays away because he thinks I am not interested, and I am sure he is dating other people. He loved me a lot, and I ruined it with the wrong kind of behaviour. Is there anything I can do to fix this?
You can come clean about what you did and why. The only way to get him to change how he sees you is to clear the air and explain your behaviour. You can apologise for being harsh and ask him for another chance. He may accept your apology and consider going out with you again, or he may decide it isn’t worth the effort if his feelings for you have changed. Either way, it is his prerogative just as behaving the way you did was yours. Tell him you’re willing to wait.
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