Should I be the bad person and just tell him we shouldn’t meet?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
How does one tell if a friendship with someone has run its course? I have been friends with this guy for almost a decade, but things have changed between us, and I don’t think either of us sees eye to eye on anything anymore. We have drifted apart and don’t have anything in common but continue to meet because it’s comfortable and because we have known each other for so long. I don’t think it’s reason enough to be friends with someone, but I think he continues to meet me because he still values this friendship in some way. I don’t know if I am being too ruthless. I don’t want to let go of him just because we’re different, but it also feels like I am losing valuable time meeting someone I don’t want to. Should I be the bad person and just tell him we shouldn’t meet?
It feels as if you’re already on your way out of this friendship, which isn’t fair to your friend. Honesty makes all the difference, and not wanting to be friends with someone requires you to be able to say that out loud. You owe it to him as well as to the friendship you once shared. Tell him the truth and do what you feel is right for you. Being with someone you don’t really want to is never a great idea because it’s only a matter of time before that sense of obligation hardens into resentment.
I don’t want to get back with my ex, but he says he can’t live without me, and this makes me feel guilty. What should I do?
A relationship will not work if both of you don’t want the same things. He may need you more than you need him, but that isn’t reason enough to stay together because it is a temporary fix to what is a much larger problem. Don’t be with him just because he can’t manage; do it only if you believe you want it to work too.
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