If you want a specific answer, and he isn’t willing to provide it, that is probably your clue. If he isn’t willing to commit, and you would like him to, ask him directly
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My boyfriend and I are slowly beginning to end our relationship, because we feel as if we won’t be able to sustain it. He is moving to another country in four months, and we don’t know if we can manage a long-distance relationship. This is causing us both a lot of pain, but we are doing it because it will be easier to end things slowly than to do this when we aren’t together in the same place. Part of us wants to make it work, but neither of us knows what this will mean because we have always lived in the same locality. Should we give it a try and then end this, or is what we are doing the best solution?
You and your boyfriend alone can decide if you want to make this work, because it will require a certain amount of effort from both of you. Long-distance relationships are undeniably difficult, but they are certainly not impossible to manage. They require some amount of adjustment, and it just takes a lot of communication to figure out ways and means of maintaining that level of closeness. If neither of you is sure about what this means, you can always decide after he moves. To end a relationship slowly may seem like a great idea but is hard to pull off in practice because there is no manual on how you are supposed to distance yourselves in any way. Talk about how much you want each other in your lives, discuss the possibility of maintaining a friendship, and ask him if he is willing to wait and see how this develops before making any decision.
How will I know if my boyfriend is considering marriage? He changes the subject when I bring it up and doesn’t give me any clue about his intentions.
If you want a specific answer, and he isn’t willing to provide it, that is probably your clue. If he isn’t willing to commit, and you would like him to, ask him directly.
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