I’ve lost... a well-paying job, my fiancee... why live?

Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

I've lost... a well-paying job, my fiancee... why live?

Dear Diana,
I used to be a team leader in a call center. I used to earn quite well. Until recently. I was engaged to be married to a very beautiful girl, whose parents broke off the engagement when I lost my job when many people in my team were laid off. She is now engaged to another guy. I have taken to drinking heavily and am even

thinking of committing suicide. I have no job options left as no one is hiring. I do not know what to do with myself.

Dejected
Dear Friend,

To get dejected over one failure is closing the door to a hundred possible successes that might follow. You have to understand that people who leave you like rats leave a sinking ship, are not the right people to know and associate with, in the first place, let alone marry. They will never stand by you when you need them. They will never encourage you to not lose hope and try to keep on trying, no matter what. If they were, you wouldn't be drowning your sorrows in drink. In any case, drinking away whatever savings you might have left, isn't the brightest idea either. Sober up and start searching for a job in right earnest.

If it ain't special, what's the point?
Dear Diana,
I am 18 and have never had sex. Now my current boyfriend is insisting that we do have sex. I like my guy but the problem is that I don't like him enough to sacrifice my virginity for him. To me, my first time should be special and the decision to give myself willingly should be mine and it should be spontaneous. Otherwise, what's the point?
Marisa
Dear Marisa,
I agree with you completely. Your first time should be special and with someone you'll be willing to give yourself completely to. Not somebody who forces you to, just because you're in a relationship with them. The spontaneity bit is the smart thing to do, your mind will tell you what's right and wrong when you do come to that bridge and when you really ought to cross that bridge.

How do I tell my bro the truth about his wife?
Dear Diana,
I'm 21, good-looking and have a great job and a wonderful girlfriend. For 23 days now, I've been on tenterhooks. My brother's wife has been after my life to have sex with her and I have steered clear of her as long as I could. Now, how do I keep her from cheating my brother (who is a fantastic guy anyway) without angering him and never believing me at all?
ABC
Dear Friend,
Take up accomodation elsewhere if you have to. If you trust your girlfriend implicitly, tell her about your sis-in-law's overtures and your aspersions and apprehensions thereof and tell her to suggest a way out without getting into anybody's bad books. You don't intend to do anything that might not make you ashamed of yourself anyway, so I think you're the genuine article. Of course, your brother will find out in time about his wife's philandering, but it makes sense for you to stay out of the picture completely when that happens.

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