'My boyfriend wants to get physical with me...'

Dear Diana,
I was attracted to this guy who I met at a conference. We initially interacted because of work, but then started hanging out. Within two weeks of knowing him, he told me he loved me. He then demanded that I get physical with him. It was too soon, too sudden. It was something I was not comfortable doing. He wants me to do things to him, I do not want to. At the same time, I do not know how to say no to him. He is a nice, caring guy and I don't wish to hurt him. Sometimes he gets annoyed and at times does not talk to me when I stop him from getting physical. I have told him that I want to spend time with him, talk to him and be with him. But he always has sex on his mind. He tells me when he sees me, he just can't keep his hands off with me. What should I do? Should I tell him to back off or just do what he wants me to do. I love him, but I feel things are happening too soon.
– Vedeeta

Dear Vedeeta,
Your boyfriend may say it is a guy thing and he can't keep your hands off you, but if he really cares about you then he won't force you to do what you do not want to. Pushing you to do something against your wishes means he is only thinking of himself and not you. Tell him that you are not comfortable with it and you perhaps need some more time. If he really cares for you and loves you, he will respect your wish. Your fears are justified as you want to know him better. You want to be sure rather than regret things later. If the guy continues to hassle you with his demands, then you would have to do a rethink about the relationship. He is perhaps not looking at a long-term relationship for keeps as he seems to be in a desperate hurry. It is entirely your choice to do — or not to do something.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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