I've been seeing a married woman for a while now. When I came into her life, she was having a lot of problems with her husband. We stay in the same neighbourhood. She was looking for a confidant but we ended up being close and getting intimate. I was her shoulder to cry on. But I would always tell her to work on her relationship with her husband and save her marriage. I also used to tell her that we should end our relationship. There was this guilt feeling as I knew that what I was doing was wrong and that it was an extra-marital affair for her. But now she loves us both and won't end either relationship. My problem is that I care for her and want to help her. I am not sure what the future holds for us. Can you help clear my confused mind?
Illustration/ Satish Acharya
Why do you want to carry on with a relationship which spells disaster? It will leave both of you scarred. The woman has got everything she wants -- the excitement of an affair and a loving husband at home � she's not likely to want to change the scene. It is you who will have to walk away. Just think you are having an affair with a woman who has sorted out her problems with her husband. Your presence in her life is her fantasy come true -- a dream guy who cares for her. But at the end there will be nothing left for you. You have to leave the scene as soon as possible and wish her a happy married life. It will be difficult but this is the best for you.