I am 20. I met this girl three years ago. I was an introvert then, but really good at my studies. She and I were in the same coaching class.
Dear Diana,
I am 20. I met this girl three years ago. I was an introvert then, but really good at my studies. She and I were in the same coaching class.
We became very good friends and would talk for hours about crazy ideas. I later realised that I had a crush on her, even though she had a boyfriend.
I used to drink and smoke a lot and she told me she didn't like it. One day she told me she had broken up. That New Year's Eve, I got drunk and proposed to her over the phone at about 1 am. She didn't say anything then but from the next morning she started behaving as if she didn't even know me.
My friends said it will pass and after 13 days, we were back to talking like we used to do. We had our last fight in May 2008. I haven't seen her since.
I took to drugs. I have been off it for eight months now, have a good job and my own place to stay. I want to tell her I still have feelings for her and if whatever happened was a mind game of some sort, then she should just tell me so that I can move on. I still have her old cell number. Should I call?
Rahul
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Dear Rahul,
You bit the bait a bit too early. Understand that smoking and drinking at such a young age (or even when you're older) is not cool. Moreover, you expected her to take you up on your offer of taking your relationship to the next level.
Moreover, you were drunk when you proposed and that is the unclassiest thing you could have done. Also, you obviously do not recollect what you said, do you? Or to whom you said it to, even though it was her phone? You have no idea what kind of flak she might have had to face because of that.
And she just broke up. What compelled you to jump to the conclusion that she would want to be in another relationship that soon? Also, taking drugs because you're lovelorn isn't really a smart thing to do. It's a good thing that you have been off it.
Continue being this way. You are in a good place now. Don't spoil that for a girl's sake. If she wanted you to be a part of her life, she's show some indication that she was interested. If it helps give you closure, call her up. Don't hurt yourself by thinking she'll tell you that she was at fault.
Because I really don't think that she was. You made all the wrong choices and were completely unapologetic about them. She would only wait as long for you to get that as she possibly can.
If you're too blind to see that, I think she's better off without you and that you are better off without her. You're a better and wiser person now. Let go of the past.
Wanna turn vegan but my folks don't want me to
Dear Diana,
I am a 17-year-old girl. My family is hardcore non-vegetarian. I have been one too, but recently I visited a slaughterhouse for the first time. I was shocked and now I want to turn vegan but my parents don't want me to. What do I do?
Smita
Dear Smita,
Do it if you truly feel you need to and not because you feel it will help animals survive. Slaughterhouses will continue existing as will meat-eaters. Besides, you might even be asked to cook your own meals, if you persist. You may have made the decision to change. Just don't expect your parents to, as easily.
I'm a shy guy...
Dear Diana,
I am a 25-year-old tall guy. I recently read your advice to a lonely girl who doesn't have any friends (Main tanha, main akeli, na boyfriend na saheli, Dear Diana; Dec 14). I too don't have many friendsu00a0-- just two guys, but no girlfriend. I feel very shy to talk to girls and don't know how to start a conversation with them. You always give a good solution to others, please give me advice too.
Sumit
Dear Sumit,
Most importantly, don't get conscious around girls. Don't try too hard to strike up a conversation. Walk up to a girl you like, stand tall, be confident and introduce yourself.u00a0 Don't read up on ways to chat up a girl. Know when to make your entries and exits and that can only come with practise.
Don't focus so much on finding a girlfriend but rather simply a friend who is a girl. If you find common ground, you will end up chatting longer and more fulfillingly than previously expected. You are only as shy as you choose to be.
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