Am in love with my best friend, but she said no...

10 December,2010 10:14 AM IST |   |  Dear Daina

Diana will solve it! Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012


Dear Diana,
I am a 17-year-old guy. My best friend is this girl who is one year younger than I am. I have known her for the past six years but we became best friends last year. Since then, we have been talking a lot and it has become quite an addiction for both of us.


Illustration/ Satish Acharya

Now I am in love with her and I constantly think about her but the problem is she thinks of me only as her best friend and nothing more then that. I casually asked her once what she would do if I proposed to her but she simply refused and said she only wants me as her friend. Please help me. I feel broken inside due to this and am unable to focus on my studies. She is my first and last love. I never notice other girls, I just want her.
Name withheld

Dear Friend,
You are 17. This can be your first love. But certainly not your last love, even though it may seem that way now. If she is not ready to be anything more than your friend, just be that. Many friends along the way do fall in love. Be happy with what you have.

Don't crave for what you don't have with her. If you push her and want more, you might just drive her further away. You are best friends, and talk to each other all day and see each other everyday. Just tell yourself that is enough for now. Let the future take care of itself. Be positive.

I love having sex with my husband, but I don't orgasm often. Is that normal?
Yes it is. In fact, not all women climax the first few times they have sex. Relax and enjoy the moment. If you've been trying only the missionary position, maybe it's time to experiment a bit. Why not try the woman on top position? It usually works. Also, when you are making love, just do that.

Leave all your thoughts and worries behind and tune in to your body's demands. If you've been feeling shy about telling your husband what pleasures you the most -- his hands, mouth etc -- don't be. Let him know and you'll find that reaching that impossible peak is not too difficult.

She says she is too busy, when she's not...
Dear Diana,
I have been dating a girl from last one and half years. Everything was normal between us in the initial days but now I feel like she is ignoring me and has started lying to me. She hardly makes calls to me, doesn't reply to my messages and always says she is busy even though she is not. This attitude of hers is killing me and its affecting my studies and work life. I spoke to her about it but she ignored saying she loves me and cares for me. She always gives excuses like there are many restrictions at her home.
Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Ok, there could be two things happening here. I can't be sure which from your email. Either this girl is having a really busy time and youu00a0 are not being able to deal with it. Or she has lost interest in you, and you are not being able to deal with it. The good part is that which ever the situation, the solution is the same. Step away. Give her breathing space.

Don't breathe down her neck and pester her about how she has no time for you. You are probably beginning to sound like a nagging wife. Stop calling her for a while and see if things improve. If they don't, ask her if she has outgrown the relationship. If she has, gracefully accept it, and let her go. At least that way you will still have your dignity.u00a0

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