The kid will need a father's name but which one's?

I am 28 and have been married 11 months now. For the first six months of our marriage, we tried to have a baby, but did not succeed.

The kid will need a father's name but which one's?

Dear Diana,
I am 28 and have been married 11 months now. For the first six months of our marriage, we tried to have a baby, but did not succeed. During the last month of that six-month period, I fell in love with another man and lived in with him for four months, without getting a divorce. I was three months pregnant when I broke up with my live-in boyfriend due to some differences. I had realised that I want to live with my hubby. He, too,

Illustration/sameer pawar

accepted me back in his life despite the pregnancy, as I wanted to keep the baby. And this, because of our failure in conceiving because of his low sperm count. But now, I am confused about giving the baby a father's name. Shall I give it my hubby's name though my boyfriend has the right to claim it as his own? If I give it my boyfriend's name then that may look awkward as the baby was born while I am still married to my hubby. If I keep the father's name blank, questions will be raised, considering I am still a married woman.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Let's assume that your boyfriend will want to, hypothetically, claim your child as his own. But even if he wanted to, the bond you share with him would not be recognised by a court of law. If you, the mother, are capable of bringing up the child on your own or with the help of your husband, you will win custody. The arrangement works well for now. About the name, I'd suggest going with your husband's name to avoid any confusions or uncomfortable situations.

In bed with a mother and her daughter

Dear Diana,
I am 35, am having sex with a 48-year-old woman and with her 28-year-old daughter as well. We've done it all and there's no part of our bodies we haven't explored. And all this, without condoms.

Jacob

Dear Jacob,
Not using condoms leaves you at risk of contracting STDs and other infections. It doesn't matter if your partners belong to the same family, it still is unsafe to have sexual intercourse with multiple partners without protection.

She was in charge all the time

Dear Diana,
I'm a very emotional and straightforward person. A few months back, I started chatting with a girl who belongs to my caste.We began liking each other and even exchanged phone numbers. She proposed in January, I accepted. We continued for three months and also had oral sex in between. All the time, she was in charge. And then, she started avoiding me for no reason. We'd talk eight hours a day before, now she was incommunicado. It affected my studies bad enough for me to drop out of my June exams. She wants to break it off. I don't know why she has done all this. I can't forget her.

Rajesh Singh

Dear Rajesh,
You refused to take charge. All the time, it was she who intitiated the action. Do you think it makes any sense for her to stay on, knowing full well that you were happier letting her be in charge. Being bold only takes you so far. It's like taking a camel to the water, bu t not being able to make him take a sip. You should have seen this coming. There's nothing left to talk about. She invested all she could in this relationship and found it wasn't a reliable investment. Just up and move on, don't dwell on the whys and wherefores of the failure that was. It will get you nowhere.