mid-day Opinion: Cockroach Janata Party

Illustration/Uday Mohite

The cockroach stood upto his full height - his antennae were trembling with anticipation and expectancy. For the first time, he strode into the room, no more sidling in. For years the others had treated him like an outcast, inspite of his resilience, his ability to combat radiation. Today, he walked into the meeting of his colleagues as an equal, his suit was Saville Row, the tie was Zodiac. He announced to all the other insects, pests, parasites, arachnids, acrididae and arthropods seated around the room -

"My time has come, we have been given the status we deserve - no more public nuisance no. 1, no more hiding in dark spaces, no more breeding in dankness - Baygon will soon be gone, Pest Control of India needn't come to homes and exterminate us. We finally have our day in the sun, people who've hated us, now they believe we are the future, to lead the young into the light; that judge guy, doesn't realise the good turn he did us."

The termite smiled, "Ah, but your boss is hiding in Boston… and they've closed down your X account."

"Our X account might be blocked, but us cockroaches can never be stamped out, we will multiply and be back with a 100 X accounts."

The centipede said, "We already have 100 X accounts."

The cockroach held up his phone and said, "How many of you can boast almost 18 million followers in such a short time."

The butterfly fluttered her eyelashes and cooed, "Darlings, I have almost 18 million followers." The fly buzzed, "What nonsense, Ms Butterfly, you're just an influencer and your followers are easily influenced, who merely follow you for advice on handbags."

"While my followers are living hand to mouth… these are not lazy socialites who choose to be unemployed, mine are unemployed youth who have no choice, they are frustrated and unheard," the cockroach said.

"Well I'm also frustrated and unheard… not to mention unemployed," Miss Butterfly whispered. "I should have my own party… Butterfly Janata Party."

The Bug, the Beetle and the Bumble Bee all put up their legs, ‘We the three B's feel that our first initial would've suited this party better, BJP. Also we have combined our agendas to form a party. The Janata party of the 70s was a mixture of many ideologies... coming under one roof."

"And we all know how long that alliance lasted," the cockroach said sarcastically. "Were the unemployed youth of India compared with bees, beetles, bugs, bed bugs? The honourable judge didn't say ‘unemployed youth are like Beetles', he said cockroaches. Dude, we are the underdog, you can't eliminate us, we can survive a nuclear winter, you try and stamp one of us out we come back stronger and multiply, we're street smart."

The ladybird swayed into the discussion, holding a pose like a model, ‘I feel that I should have been mentioned, "Youngsters like ladybirds". How nice that would have sounded?"

The grass hopper cracked up, "Do you think the Ladybird Janata Party can work? It's not even meme-worthy."

A buzzing sound distracted them, as the mosquito announced itself, he said to the cockroach, "By the way, Mr Roach, I'll have you know that the honorable judge, in his speech considered comparing unemployed and frustrated youth to mosquitoes. I think MJP… Mosquito Janata Party is so cool."

The cockroach looked at him with disdain, ‘You are such a weak insect, in comparison to us, roaches…blood suckers…" The spider came through the window, "I apologise for being late, I was shooting late night for the superhero movie ‘Spiderman vs AI'." He took a pause then said, wisely, "Mr Cockroach, I appreciate that you have aligned yourself to a party but may I suggest that all of us come together, and get an alliance going. You see us spiders, mites, scorpions, ticks and mites, because we have no feelers, wings, and eight legs… we feel very left out of the ‘insect bracket'. Can we begin our own political party, with our own agenda, and that includes us also?"

"We could call ourselves INDIA… Insects Nationalist Democratic Inclusive of Arachnida," the spider concluded.

Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, filmmaker and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com