Don’t know how to leave him...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 25-year-old woman stuck in an abusive relationship. We have been together for over three years and whenever I have tried to leave, he has made excuses for his behaviour and made it impossible for me to end things with him. My friends have also given up trying to get me to go because they believe I will never leave him, but the honest reason is I don't know how to. Even if I stop communicating with him, he turns up at my house and just stays until I change my mind. I sometimes feel as if I give in just because it's too exhausting not to. I want to end this and don't see a future with him, but he is convinced that we will always be together, and I don't know what to do.
If you are aware that this is an abusive relationship, the longer you stay, the more harm it will do to you. Breaking free from this can be undeniably difficult, of course, so your feelings are perfectly valid. It may be time to ask for help or look for legal solutions. If you don't want to be with someone, you should not be forced into anything you're not comfortable with because you have rights as an adult. If your partner doesn't get that message, there should be some figures of authority capable of getting through to him. If you don't have the strength to do this on your own, which is a common problem, speak to family and friends and inform them of what is going on.

My girlfriend always tells me that I am too demanding but doesn't explain herself. If she isn't clear about what I am doing wrong, how do I fix it? Is she looking for an excuse to break up?
If she wants to break up, she will. This is more about poor communication than anything else, and you will have to try harder to get her to talk about what is upsetting her.

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