Dr love with mid-day: He posts all our problems online!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend has an annoying habit of posting all our problems on Facebook. He asks for advice from his friends and random people on his list of contacts and it always feels like a devastating breach of privacy. I ask him time and again to keep things private, but he says it's important for other opinions because that will show me if I'm being unreasonable. I may be unreasonable, but I don't see how external interference is supposed to make me change my view about something. It's getting to a point where I don't say much to him because I know he will share it with people. What should I do?
You should reconsider this relationship because your personal boundaries are being ignored and you are being denied a right to privacy. He may need external validation or advice from other people, but that doesn't give him any right to share private information with the world at large. If he doesn't understand why this is a problem, you may have more problems in the future. If it's already affecting how you communicate, there are serious issues in this relationship that aren't being addressed. Tell him it's non-negotiable and if that doesn't work, think about whether this relationship is worth the humiliation.

How do I know if I am just a cover up for someone who is probably gay and denying his true feelings? My boyfriend is not interested in intimacy and definitely likes guys more than women but refuses to accept it.
Sexuality is a complicated thing, and it often takes some people a long time to come to terms with this aspect of their lives. You may not be able to arrive at a definitive understanding of where your boyfriend's affections lie, but you can put yourself first nonetheless and evaluate this relationship purely on the basis of whether it is working for you. He may never be honest with himself but, if you aren't satisfied with this, you should focus on that part of the relationship.

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