Dr love with mid-day: I want to leave for peace of mind!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been struggling to maintain my two-year-old relationship because my girlfriend and I can't see eye to eye on the future. We have a lot of arguments often and it takes a long time for things to settle down between us. I am always under pressure, and it feels as if I don't get enough joy to justify being in this state. She says she is ready to work on it, but we have not been able to find any stability despite trying for months. I am tempted to break up just for peace of mind because I don't think it's worth the effort. Am I being selfish? Should I stay in this just to make her happy and hope that things will change in a while?
If you are not happy, you can't fake it to try and maintain a relationship. You may both want this to work, but that's not the same as doing what it takes to resolve your differences. Ending a relationship may seem like a harsh decision, but you should both try and have an honest chat about what you are hoping for and what you think the current situation is like. Airing grievances is the first step towards acknowledging whether your bond is based on reality or nostalgia. Your mental health is also critical, as is the belief that a relationship with someone is meant to make two people happy. If that isn't the case, you should certainly re-evaluate where things stand.

My boyfriend continues to flirt with his ex-girlfriends and makes me feel like a difficult person when I ask him to stop. He says it's harmless but it's making me feel as if he doesn't take me or this relationship seriously. How do I get him to change his behaviour as well as his attitude?
Give him an ultimatum. If he isn't taking your valid concerns seriously, this isn't about attitude. It's about a lack of respect and your relationship is doomed to fail if it isn't addressed.

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