Feel she could go back to her ex...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 26-year-old guy and have been dating someone for the past four months. I am convinced that my girlfriend is still in love with her ex, even though she won't admit it. I can't say anything critical about him, she always mentions him when we are talking about what we like or dislike, and it feels as if she would go back to him if he were to ask her. I am always a little insecure about our relationship because of this and can't even discuss it because whenever I have brought it up, she accuses me of being unnecessarily jealous. How do I manage this and make sure she stays with me?
You can't hold on to someone and force them into a relationship if they don't want to stay in one. Your feelings about your girlfriend may be entirely justified, and it's possible that she still harbours the possibility of getting back with her ex-boyfriend, but that is still based on conjecture. The facts remain that she is currently in a relationship with you, and not with her ex. If you want to make sure this relationship evolves, you will have to focus on you and her, and how you can strengthen the bond between the two of you. Speaking about her ex won't help because what you need to talk about are your feelings for her, and how comfortable she is around you. It takes time for people to get over anyone they have been with, so keep that in mind too. You can't control her past, but you can work towards making her present and future with you more secure.

My fiancé tells me I may be homosexual, and I am worried that she may be right. What should I do?
Ask your fiancé why she feels this way and think about her reasons. If you don't know much about your own sexuality, it may also help to speak to a counsellor or professional who can ask you the right questions.

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