He has never initiated intimacy

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I don't know if this is a problem or not, but I feel as if my partner only pretends to enjoy being intimate with me. I always have to force him, and he then says he liked it, but he never initiates it until I do. We have been in a relationship for six months and I have been the one to initiate this every time. We don't talk much about it because I sense that he isn't comfortable, but I don't know what to do to change that. Until he is honest about how he feels, or what he wants to change, I keep feeling inadequate, as if I am not doing enough or am not worthy enough. It's harming my confidence and making me question if our relationship is genuine. How do I change this?
If it is troubling you, it has to be discussed even if your partner isn't comfortable with it because ignoring it only threatens the future of your relationship. It's possible that you're misinterpreting him but, until he speaks about what this means to him, and your doubts aren't addressed, the chances of a misunderstanding remain high. It takes time for people to be honest about physical intimacy because it isn't an easy topic for everyone. However, if it starts to impact other aspects of a relationship, the need for open and honest communication becomes imperative. Think about what this means to you and, if speaking to a professional is something he is open to doing, you should suggest that too.

My girlfriend threatens to harm herself whenever we have an argument which makes me feel as if I will never be able to end this relationship. How do I do this without causing her any danger?
If you feel as if you are being forced into a relationship, you don't have one. If she is threatening herself to coerce you, it is a sign of emotional abuse. You are both adults and if this isn't working for you, call it out.

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