He hasn’t told his family about me...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend and I have been together for around six months, and, in all this time, he has not mentioned me to his family. When I ask him why, he says he is worried about what they may think but doesn't explain if this because of my background or education or anything else. I don't know what to think because my family knows about him and has met him on numerous occasions. I have even asked if he is ashamed of me and he laughs it off, but this is starting to worry me because it feels as if he isn't saying something. A part of me thinks I am overreacting because I shouldn't care about what they have to say, but there is also this fear that he is not being open with me about his feelings or what he expects from this relationship. Should I insist on meeting his family or just let things stay the way they are?
You're not being unreasonable because his refusal or inability to offer you a satisfactory explanation points to a problem with communication that cannot be brushed aside. You don't have to meet his family, of course, nor should their opinions matter to either of you. However, if it is something that bothers you, you're entitled to feeling the way you do and the onus on helping you deal with this does lie with your boyfriend. Give him time to explain himself but, if you get to a stage where it starts to feel as if your concerns are being dismissed or not taken seriously, that is a red flag for how this relationship is progressing.

I want to take things slowly with my girlfriend, but she is a very intense person and always gets very worked up for the slightest thing. How do I convince her that we need to ease things up?
You can always tell her why you want to take things slow and give her a chance to explain herself before arriving at a compromise.

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