Should I just end this friendship?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 26-year-old woman and am considering ending a friendship that has been part of my life since I was a child. She and I were neighbours which is how we got to know each other. We have shared everything about our personal lives and spent most of our free time together. Over the past year or so, however, I have begun to feel as if she is holding me back. Whenever I share something positive that is happening to me or to my professional life, she doesn't share my enthusiasm, and it feels as if she wants me to not do well. Her own life is not going according to plan because of some poor decisions, and I get the feeling that she wants me to be as miserable as she is. This is not good for me, and the only reason I have stayed friends is because I worry if I am being a bad person by ending it. What should I do?
You are making a decision based on what you think is good for you, which is all that matters as an adult. Being friends is important, as is being supportive, but not when it is clearly causing harm. At that point, you have to be clear-eyed about whether this is based on genuine love and mutual respect, or simply nostalgia based on what you have shared before. Having said that, you should also evaluate if there is nothing that can be done to resolve these issues. An old friend is someone you ought to be able to have difficult conversations with. Have you tried speaking your mind about this, without worrying about any consequences? It may be a good idea given that you have nothing to lose.

How do I know if I am marrying the right person or just settling for him because I am worried about growing old alone?
Give yourself time if you aren't sure, because spending more time with someone can often help you find some clarity.

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