Dr Love with Mid-Day: My partner is extremely untidy!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I don't know if I am being unnecessarily difficult when it comes to my relationship, but my partner is incredibly untidy, and I can't find a way of living with him. This sounds like a minor issue, and my friends think I'm blowing it out of proportion, but they don't see that all I do, day after day, is clean up after my partner. I am the one responsible for making sure that our apartment is clean and livable because he doesn't care about the state it's in. He loves me a lot and we have been together for three years, but the older I get, the more convinced I become that this isn't someone I want to be with. Am I making a huge mistake?
Doing what you think is right for you is never a mistake if you feel as if a relationship isn't meeting some fundamental needs. Your friends may think you're blowing things out of proportion, but you alone can and should define the boundaries that make you feel secure in any relationship. If your partner isn't doing what he needs to, it is an act of disrespect irrespective of how much you love each other. If you aren't happy with this situation and don't see a future, listen to yourself and do what you need to.

My long-distance relationship isn't working because I don't feel as attracted to my boyfriend as I used to. How do I change this? Is this a sign that we should break up?
It isn't a sign about breaking up, but it is certainly a wake-up call that can't be ignored. Long-distance relationships are difficult and require a certain amount of work. If this isn't done, and your concerns aren't acknowledged or addressed, a bad situation will only get worse. Think about why you feel this way, what has changed between you two, and what you would like to do if you want to save this relationship. Most importantly, tell your boyfriend how you feel and be honest.

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