Dr Love with Mid-Day: He is emotionally abusive...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I want to escape from my partner because I believe he is emotionally abusive, but no one is helping me because they don't see that side of him. We have been together for four years and everyone thinks we are a great couple. My family and friends believe we will get married, but the truth is I am struggling with his passive aggressive nature. We used to love each other a lot but it's not there anymore and I feel as if I am just in his life because he is used to my presence. He won't even consider the possibility of a break-up because he is worried about his image and how people may see him. How do I get out of this?
Your family and friends may struggle to accept your point of view, but you have to consider your mental health and ask yourself if this is worth it. If you aren't getting help from people you know, turn to professionals who may be able to offer support or advice. No one should be compelled to live in an abusive relationship, which is all that matters. Think about what kind of help you need, be it emotional or financial, and explain to people that they are letting you down by not acknowledging your problem. If that doesn't work, and you feel trapped, ask for legal advice. If you feel as if you don't have the strength to get away on your own, look for organisations that work in this space. Put yourself first and do what is best for your future, because this is your life on the line and nothing is worth being with someone who doesn't love or respect you.

Is there a way to tactfully let someone know that I don't like him?
Being direct is often the best way to deal with this because tact can only go so far. Approach it with respect and honesty, explain why you just don't have feelings for him, and then draw a few boundaries.

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