Sister is dating my wife’s ex!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

This is a strange situation to be in, by my sister is dating my wife's ex-boyfriend and I don't know how to manage it. Things get awkward at our home whenever she visits because my wife is uncomfortable with the idea and I feel as if I am caught in the middle. I have tried to tell my sister that this is a bad idea, but she tells me it's her business and that the awkwardness is something I must manage by myself. I understand where she's coming from, but I worry that if this relationship gets serious, it will put a strain on my marriage, and I don't know how to cope. Should I put my foot down and insist that my sister break up with this guy?
Your inability to cope with this has everything to do with how you and your wife manage it and nothing to do with your sister's decision. At the end of the day, there are four adults in this situation, and you are each entitled to do what is best for yourselves and your individual relationships. If you can't manage, and this affects your relationship with your sister, you will have to accept that possibility. Remember that sitting down to talk about this is always an option, and that your sister is allowed to choose her life over her relationship with you. Speak to you wife about this and tell her why it's difficult, then weigh the pros and cons of what might happen if your sister's relationship progresses. You can all find a way to move forward or accept that distance is inevitable. Ultimately, what you all choose will have everything to do with what matters to each of you.

I am being patient but the person I am dating is still hesitant to commit to a serious relationship. What should I do?
If you claim to be patient, wanting things to change quickly is at odds with that sentiment. Wait until you feel you can't wait any longer.

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