Want to tell him I have a crush...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a teenager and I have a crush on a guy who is 22. We have grown up together and have known each other since we were in the same school, although he was obviously a few years ahead of me. He doesn't know about my crush but I have had it for a few years and have never had the courage to say anything. I am going to graduate from college in a year and will finally be an adult, after which I am thinking of telling him how I feel to see if he has any interest. My friends say this is a bad idea because he is three years older and may be dating someone already, but I don't see any harm in just letting him know that I like him. Is this a bad idea?
There is no harm telling him how you feel, provided you are prepared for the possibility that he may not reciprocate. You know nothing about his personal life, presumably, and haven't spent any time with him to understand what he's really like, which may change the way you both look at each other in the years to come. Why not finish college, think about how you feel a year from now, and consider taking this one step at a time by getting to know him a little better first? You have waited all this time, so why not give him a chance to know what you're really like too?

My friends don't like my boyfriend because they think he is too controlling, but he only does this because he cares about me and is worried about them being a bad influence on me. How can I get them to see things from each other's perspectives?
Does your boyfriend assume you aren't capable of making sensible choices on your own? Are your friends aware of why he comes across as controlling? You can be honest with them all, or listen to them and decide what is best for you.

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