'Crazy about colleague who is not interested!'

Updated: 31 August, 2020 07:15 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

He is my senior, and we have a lot of projects that we work on together. I know this is a very bad idea because, if anything goes wrong, it will affect both our careers

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have a huge crush on a co-worker, which is making things difficult for me at work. He is my senior, and we have a lot of projects that we work on together. I know this is a very bad idea because, if anything goes wrong, it will affect both our careers. I also know he is not interested in me because he has never given any indication of this. He is kind and friendly to everyone and I know nothing about his personal life except that he is unmarried. I don't want this to go any further because I think the sensible thing to do is to forget him. I just can't do this though, and I have been trying for months. Should I quit?
You come across as a fairly sensible person. You have listed all the reasons why this is a bad idea and recognise that there could be damage to your career as well as his. If you can't get over this crush right now, it is simply a question of time until you do. If you are prepared to give up your job for this, think about the pros and cons of such a move. Will quitting allow you to forget about him? If he isn't interested in you, why not use that information to acknowledge that this has no future and focus on meeting new people? No one is saying that getting over a crush is easy, but you already know the outcome, so why punish yourself for something you can't control?

My boyfriend and I both struggle with mental health issues. We are understanding of each other's space and deal with the complications of this, but I am afraid because it can just take one minor crisis to make our relationship shaky. How do I deal with this?
If you both respect each other's space, why not look forward to a crisis as a means of arriving at a place of better understanding? All relationships are potentially difficult without dialogue.

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First Published: 31 August, 2020 04:03 IST

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