Her friends flirting with her annoys me

Published: Sep 16, 2019, 05:14 IST | DR Love |

I feel very jealous and sometimes ask her not to tell me how someone has been flirting because it makes me frustrated just listening to her

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have been in a long-distance relationship for a while. My girlfriend tells me she has been hanging out with her friends, who are also people she likes and who try and flirt with her. I feel very jealous and sometimes ask her not to tell me how someone has been flirting because it makes me frustrated just listening to her. She still tells me though. I am sometimes confused about what she wants. — Sandy J

It's fairly normal to be jealous of someone you don't have the luxury of being with, and jealousy is a common aspect of long-distance relationships. It doesn't have to be a problem though, if you work on what makes any relationship successful — building trust, being honest, and keeping lines of communication open. Your girlfriend is with you despite the people who flirt with her, or people she happens to like. If you believe she wants this relationship to work and recognise that these interactions never go beyond the point of flirtation, you may be able to look at them as an attempt to get more attention. This may be presumptuous, but speaking to her about how she feels and what she expects may help.

I am 13 and, whenever I am in a relationship, I feel as if I am being used. In a previous relationship, I gave everything to my girlfriend, who then backed out. How do I keep studies and love separate? — AD

There is a time and place for everything. Being distracted by a series of girlfriends in your first year as a teenager is a sign that you haven't prioritised things well yet. It takes a while to understand how relationships work, and you will get better at handling them. The smarter thing to do is focus on studying because you have the rest of your life to figure out relations.

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