'How do I let go of my past relation?'

Jan 07, 2019, 06:28 IST | Dr Love

It has been four years since I split with my boyfriend and I am still not over him. How do I ever move on?

'How do I let go of my past relation?'
Illustration/Ravi Jadhav

Dr LoveIt has been four years since I split with my boyfriend and I am still not over him. How do I ever move on?
People deal with grief in their own way, and the end of a relationship can take longer to get over depending on how strongly you feel for someone. You will move on, even if it feels as if you won't.

I have been in a relationship for a year now, and really love my boyfriend a lot. The problem is, it never ever feels as if he loves me the same way. I feel sad very often because he ignores me unless I insist on his attention. I know he's busy and usually has a lot to do, but I just need some more time from him, which isn't too much to ask for. When I ask him why he ignores me, he says I am too demanding and need to give him more space, but I think I already give him all the space he needs. How do I get him to be a little more attentive, and show me that he loves me? He says he does, but I just don't feel it.
If you don't feel it, he needs to try harder; it really is that simple. You have told him how you feel, and you need to be honest with yourself. If he makes you sad, and you don't get the sense that he values you as much as he ought to, you have a problem and he needs to take it seriously. Being in love is great, but it also tends to blind us to certain aspects of a relationship that need to be looked at more objectively. Try and examine this dispassionately and ask yourself if you do the heavy pulling here, if he really is too busy to spend time with you, and if he is being unreasonable. Then tell him how you feel and ask him to change if he wants this relationship to survive.

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