'I'm not able to concentrate on my relationship'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I was in a relationship with someone for a long time. We had a great time at the start, until a number of issues at home began to get in the way and started to make things difficult. He was patient with me for a few months, but the strain began to show after a while and we drifted apart. Eventually, we just ended it because things were not getting any better at home and I was finding it hard to cope. I have been dating someone for the past month and I see the same things happening. My personal problems are making it hard for me to concentrate on a relationship, and I expect this to fail, too. I can't expect my boyfriends to understand beyond a point. How do I resolve this? My problems at home will always end up making it hard for me to manage a relationship.
This has less to do with your ability to manage a relationship and more to do with what your personal problems at home are. You recognise the source of the problem, which is a good thing. Do you believe these can be sorted at some point in the future? If they can't, and you foresee a lifetime of struggling with them, it may make sense to try and get help from another source, and find some equanimity within yourself, before attempting to have a relationship. You may always find someone who recognises what you're going through and is strong enough to empathise, of course, but this really sounds like you're dealing with more than you can manage at the moment. I don't know the nature of your problems, but suggest you speak to someone who is aware of your situation and can help you with a solution. Don't worry about a relationship because you will find a way when you are in a position of strength and have managed to get some sort of control over the things currently bothering you.
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