I think she is friend-zoning me!

Updated: May 21, 2020, 04:56 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I have feelings for her and want to tell her about them, but I sometimes get the sense that she knows this and doesn't want me to say anything because it will be awkward

Illustration. Uday Mohite
Illustration. Uday Mohite

picI am a little confused about a girl I have been meeting a lot. We are friends, but I have been making small gestures to try and see if she feels anything more for me. I have feelings for her and want to tell her about them, but I sometimes get the sense that she knows this and doesn't want me to say anything because it will be awkward. She constantly talks about how I am a great friend, and I feel as if I am being pushed into the friend zone. Am I reading too much into this?

If she thinks of you as a great friend, why can't you spend a little more time trying to figure out what she is trying to say? Better still, why not simply ask her? If she doesn't want you to think of her as anything other than a friend, it may prevent any unpleasantness in the future. The more you think about this, the higher your chances of being hurt if you misread what she is trying to tell you. You don't have to worry about this affecting your relationship either, if you pre-empt your conversation by telling her how confused you are and asking if she is comfortable discussing this.

A co-worker and I kissed at an office party a few months ago, because I was a little drunk. It was nice, but I don't have any interest in him. Unfortunately, he now sends me flowers and cards every week, because he thinks I want to go out on a date. How do I send him the message that I am not interested without making this a potential problem at work?

Why are you skirting the issue by not addressing him directly? Accepting or rejecting those overtures only makes things worse, because you are deepening the confusion. Ask him out for a cup of coffee, talk about what happened, and explain why you don't want this to affect you both professionally. This conversation is inevitable, so do it.

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