Why have the hugs, cuddles stopped?

Updated: Jul 31, 2020, 07:53 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

We have great sex and are comfortable with each other mentally as well as physically, but the little things like cuddles and hugs have stopped

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

DR LOveMy partner and I share a great relationship and have no real problems. If there is one thing that bothers me though, it is that the small gestures that were a part of us when we first began dating have vanished. We have great sex and are comfortable with each other mentally as well as physically, but the little things like cuddles and hugs have stopped. Is this normal in all relationships? Should I insist on them or will it seem forced? I don't want to lose that spark we used to have. Am I being needlessly worried?

You're not being needlessly worried, but there are a few things you can do to try and maintain what you refer to as that early spark. You can always initiate the cuddles and hugs that you miss, for instance, but it also helps to work on other aspects of intimacy as your relationship evolves. Every couple starts to take a few things for granted, and the gestures you speak of may just be one of them. Try and look at other ways in which the two of you have evolved. The way you communicate, for instance, may be surprisingly more comfortable now than before. That is also a sign of love, if you learn how to recognise it. Speak to your partner, talk about what you both miss, and work on this together.

When should someone tell their girlfriend that they are in love? My boyfriend and I have been together for four months now and I have been waiting for him to say it, but he hasn't. I know he cares about me, but is there a reason why he isn't saying this? Should I say it to him first? I don't want to frighten him in any way, but it definitely affects my mood at times. What should I do?

Yes, you should say it first if that is how you feel. He may simply be nervous about this and being honest about your feelings is always good.

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