My husband's sexual hang-ups stem from his addiction to adult pornography websites
Dear Diana,
My husband's sexual hang-ups stem from his addiction to adult pornography websites. He has not been able to give up his addictions in favour of having a normal sex life with me, claiming that I am not exciting in bed because I refuse to do what these women do in the movies.
This has actually been going on for the past 12 years. He has finally agreed to get help and format the hard disk that contains his porn. My question is, should I hound him about what he had promised to do, or should I see if his words actually translate into action? He openly admitted to me that he knows that he is sick and that he needs help. I just hope that once the hard drive is formatted, he doesn't go back to porn again. Should I up and leave this marriage over this issue despite our 12 years together?
Name witheld
Dear Friend,
Never hound a man. It won't work, and he'll just dig in deeper. If he has said he will get help, then you need to sit back and see whether he does, and give support where needed. The best thing you can do is wait to see whether he follows through with his promise. If he doesn't, then think about the marriage. But let him try before you make a decision, and don't hound him. Let him do it himself.
Don't give up on your marriage. He is obviously not happy, so you need to look at yourself also. You need to tackle this by working on intimacy issues together and not by being apart.
My fiance wants me to send him dirty pics!
Dear Diana,
I'm engaged, and I've never been in such a serious relationship. He wants me to be creative and send him dirty pictures. What should I send him?
Name witheld
Dear Friend,
Don't fall for that 'creative' trap. I'd advise against sending anything to your fiance that anyone else could have access to. You might trust him all you want, but should those pics get into theu00a0 wrong hands, you could end up regretting sending them to him.
Sex without the consequences, please!
Dear Diana,
I've been fighting the urge to have sex with my boyfriend of seven months a lot lately. I want to, but am scared of the consequences. What should I do to satisfy these feelings without having to deal with consequences?
XYZ
Dear Friend,
If you aren't comfortable with the idea of having sex or dealing with the fact that you may not be ready for it, I think you ought to wait until you are. When you speak of consequences, it probably means you know nothing about safe sex or how to go about it.
u00a0
Never agree to a sexual encounter without putting your foot down and insisting that you won't do it withoutu00a0 a condom. Also, if you feel that you need to be completely sure, take contraceptive pills after consulting a doctor. What fun is sex if it's only going to make you miserable?
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