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I do not know what she thinks of our differences

Updated on: 27 May,2009 11:27 AM IST  | 
Diana |

Diana will solve it! Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

I do not know what she thinks of our differences

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Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at
diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

Dear Diana,
I am in my mid-30s; a very good-looking North Indian Muslim, working in Chennai for the past four months. I am in love with a Hindu Tamil colleague working as my subordinate. She is also beautiful and intelligent but slightly orthodox and shy. I am very cosmopolitan, a been-there done-that type of a guy; she has never stepped out of Tamil Nadu. Both our families are very orthodox too with their religion and tradition. I have never spoken anything about my feelings but once I aked her out for lunch on weekend, she denied saying she was busy that day, after that I did not had the courage to ask her out again. I have no issues with her religion or region. I am concerned what she thinks about me? Should I ask her out again or tell her that I am interested in her, I love her and want to marry her? What effect can this have on our professional life if she says no. We're together for almost 10 hours in office everyday. I see a lot of confusing signals. Is there any way I can move forward and realise my dream of marrying her?

Aashiq

Dear Aashiq,
While it is a good thing that you're so forward in thought, you need to remember that she isn't made of the same mould and could well grow tired of a life where she doesn't see herself fitting into a world you already feel a part of. Besides, you belong to different religions and that too, could pose a problem later on. Figure out for sure, if she's interested in you, first. I think you should find that out first before making any proclamations of marriage. And even if she says no, that's something you will have to deal with. The only way you can realise this 'dream' is if the parents say yes (don't see that happening) or if the girl says yes (figure that out first).

I'm frustrated, shy and withdrawn

Dear Diana,

Of late, I have become shy and have become afraid of going and speaking to people and have problems in finding a partner and have got very frustrated. Please help me out.


Huzaifa

Dear Huzaifa,

Why did this happen in the first place. Obviously, there must have been a time when you were not this way. Why are you so shy and scared? I can only try to help you if I know what caused you to become so withdrawn and paranoid about meeting potential partners in public.



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