How does one combat guilt? A year ago, I erred. I am still engulfed with the nagging thoughts that how could I have ever done it
Dear Diana,
How does one combat guilt? A year ago, I erred. I am still engulfed with the nagging thoughts that how could I have ever done it. Though married, I befriended a guy at my workplace. He was married too. We were initially just colleagues and he would often drop me home. Gradually over time, we felt attracted to each other. One thing led to another and we ended up making love. Then it became a habit as he would wait for me to drop me home or I would wait for him. We would drive around looking for that secluded spot. We had promised each other that we would never talk about each other to anyone ever. This went on for about five months, till the guy decided to cut off all ties with me. He just stopped talking to me and even changed jobs. I was full of guilt for having gone astray. I have not told my husband about this, nor will I. But the guilt remains...u00a0
- Name withheld on request
Illustration/Satish Acharya
Dear Friend,
It's so easy to say you got carried away. You can say you had your reasons. And that most common excuse -- whatever happened, happened at the spur of the moment. But think about this: what made you fall a prey? What tempted you to it? You thought it was love knowing fully well that it would get both of you'll no where. Remember when you feel guilty, it is your inner voice alerting you. It tells you about the wrong decision your made and the consequences you might face. You say no one knows about your fling and it would never happen again. So it is something you will have to live with and hopefully over time forget it.
Why put on this fake act?
Dear Diana,
My brother's wife left him for another guy. They have got a divorce a while back. We never interfered in their marriage nor in the divorce. But his ex-wife behaves as if nothing has happened. She has been behaving extra-friendly with us. For us, it is all over and you go your way and we go our way. Why does she insist on putting on this fake act?
- TR
Dear TR,
There are all types of people in the world. Some are thick-skinned and get on with life as if nothing has happened. While there are others who behave as if it's over and want to hide themselves below the nearest rock. Obviously your ex sis-in-law belongs to the former category. There is no point antagonising anyone at this stage, just be civil when you come face-to-face, otherwise you'll are better off your respective ways.
I think I'm in love
Dear Diana,
There is this guy in the office I work. Though he is in a different department, I feel we can click. I don't even know him yet but want to know every detail about him. I have found out where he stays, his likes and dislikes and also the fact that he is married with kids. But this is not stopping me from knowing him. And I am trying hard at it. Am I in love with him?
- Rema
Dear Rema,
My girl, you think you are in love! But you don't even know this guy. You have managed to find details about him, I assume from your office colleagues. Looks like you are just short of stalking him. And to top it all he is married! Being an acquaintance is one thing but trying to be extra-familiar will be a disaster. Let this infatuation die. Avoid this guy, pronto!
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