I'm straight as hell but she thinks I bend the other way

I'm straight as hell but she thinks I bend the other way

Dear Diana,
I'm in a relationship with this girl who i love very much. We've been together for about two and a half years now. I live with a friend in Colaba, Mumbai, who is quite 'open' about how he lives his life. He roams around the

house naked, wakes up with a huge hard-on and some nights, even tries to bone me when I am fast asleep. I have slapped him twice when he tried to stick it in me and kicked him where it hurts the most, too. He says that's a turn-on too. I've tried to hammer some sense into him, but he says it only make him hornier. Once my girlfriend came over and found me bent over in the kitchen (I was looking for a spoon) and saw him trying to spoon me. Repulsed, she didn't stick around to watch me kick the shit out of him. She phoned that night to say that she didn't know I bent that way (talk about the irony of it!) and so wanted to break up with me so I "could be happy". That girl has a way with words, I tell you! Anyway, get me out of this mess without having to leave the house I live in. It belongs to him and I DON'T PAY RENT! I've been saving up to marry this chick ASAP. Staying with this guy saves me a chunk of change. Don't get me wrong, he isn't gay. Just plain stupid and he likes being that way. BTW, his gal's hotter than mine. Mine doesn't believe a word I say.