Diana will solve it! Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012
Dear Diana,
I have been married ten years and have two kids. The first eight years of marriage had been wonderful filled with love, affection, money, gifts and numerous loving calls from hubby (I live abroad with our kids and he used to work in another country).
I was a working woman and managed the kids, home and work. My mother-in-law was a great help (she's no more now). For the past two years since he's been down, things have gone from bad to worse, with no support from him. 
He feels like he is a bachelor who still lives alone. I am working and supporting him financially (I love working; can't sit home idle), but he doesn't support me physically or emotionally. He screams at our kids and yells at me.
He cribs about everything. I try to make him understand but in vain. Sometimes, I feel I don't even know this man.
My friends advise me to go back to India. But why should I when I want to stay here too? What should I do? Do you also think that I should go back? I am depressed and feel suicidal.
u00a0
Vilma D'sa
Dear Vilma,
It has only been two years that he has been this way. Try and understand what it is that has changed and what has effected that change.
I agree that he may seem impossible to live with and that you are doing all that is humanly possible to get by while raising your kids well.
I also agree that he isn't helping out at all and that is taking a toll on you emotionally. But it is a drastic decision you're poised to make.
Moving away from a spouse that refuses to understand your problems epsecially one you've been with for so long is extremely difficult and (ironically) painfully easy at the same time, depending on whose advice you're taking.
He can't be venting his frustrations on you and the kids, though. That, just isn't right! If you want to move away, yet stay in the same country, you should! Consult a lawyer if all other modes of reaching out to him, fail.
My girlfriend refused a bouquet I gave her
Dear Diana,
I am 18- year-old. I have a 19-year-old girlfriend I dearly love but have no idea if she loves me or not. But I want to be with her.
One day I gave her a bouquet. She refused it. Now I'm confused. She sometimes looks at me and laughs. I want to tell her I love her but cannot. What should I do?
Bittu Babu
Dear Bittu,
She's your girlfriend? Sure doesn't sound like it. I mean... if she's with you she shouldn't be refusing bouquets, no? I agree, it is confusing that she should look at you and laugh for no reason.
u00a0
And the most troubling thing? She's your girlfriend! If you can't tell her you love her, what's left?
I think you should ask her why she refused your flowers and ask her in no uncertain terms if she wants to continue to be with you.
Have typhoid, and yet had sex with wife!
Dear Diana,
I'm a married man. For the last ten days or so now, I haven't been keeping well and have undergone treatment.
After all the tests, the doctor has diagnosed me as having typhoid but it's nothing critical and the sickness had only just begun.
I'm better now. The problem is, I had sex last night with my wife. Will either of us have any problems?
Alan
Dear Friend,
Will she contract the sickness? That's something only a few tests will reveal over time. In any case, when you're ill, you shouldn't have sex.
u00a0
Your partner always runs the risk of catching what you've got. You wouldn't want to put her through the wringer for no fault of hers.
u00a0
If you have typhoid, you're least likely to have sex on your mind. Wait it out two weeks, let the illness run its course and then have your fun. Until then, be patient.
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