We are in love, but he is not being open about it

Dear Diana,
I've been in a relationship since October 2009. I love him deeply, he's the most amazing person but I have some underlying issues. He told me not to tell his uncle and his aunt (who he lives with) about us even though I'm friendly with them and go to their house a lot. He works in his uncle's restaurant so I manage to see him once a week on his day off. Why is he hiding the relationship from them? He is Muslim and I am not, could that be the reason? His aunt and uncle seem to like me but he says they won't approve of a relationship. But I think they already suspect. Is it because he is dependent on them for work and home? Should I keep seeing this guy? Or does something smell funny to you too?



Gitika
Dear Gitika,
There could be any number of reasons why he doesn't want his aunt and uncle to know you are dating him. It can't be because you are from a differnt religion, because if that was the case you would've sensed that during your interaction with them. Maybe he is worried about them telling his folks, who are not as open-minded as they are. Or worse, he could be engaged and he is hiding that. I am not sure if you should break up with him at this point, but you should definitely be on your guard. There's something not right here. I suggest you have a chat with him, and tell him your fears. Hopefully he will give you answers which will put your fears to rest. If not, try to talk to his aunt and to find out if they would really be opposed to the match. If you don't get the answers, then you should consider moving on.

We click, but not sexually...

Dear Diana,
I am 24, and dating the most wonderful boyfriend, who is right for me in everyway. I know he would love to take things further but for me, there is no sexual spark which is very important to me. Does it come in time or are destined to be only friends? I would love to take things further but I can't see the point if sexually we don't click.

Name withheld on request
Dear friend,
Is it sex? Or sex with him that seems to put you off? Have you kissed him, yet? Sex doesn't make a relationship but it is important for you to have chemistry. Maybe the lack of spark is just in your head? I suggest you get under the sheets with him and then decide if you don't feel attracted to him at all. If he seems right in every way, it would be a shame to throw this away even without getting hot and heavy, don't you think?u00a0

My past is affecting my present relationship...

Dear Diana,
I have had issues the past few years with letting people in. I am in love right now with someone, but I keep pushing him away. It's like I don't want him to love me back. I think this is due to my past of being cheated on. How can I fix this?

Vedika
Dear Vedika,
You need to believe in yourself and tell yourself that your failed past relationships have NOT been your fault. It takes two to make a relationship work. Put it behind you and concentrate on your new love. If you do that then things will be okay. Be more assertive and try and build your confidence and self esteem.