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Eight expectations that can destroy your relationship with your partner

Updated on: 04 December,2022 04:13 PM IST  |  New Delhi
IANS |

When we set our sights too high, our partners can feel overwhelmed and pressured, and that is when relationships can get difficult to handle

Eight expectations that can destroy your relationship with your partner

Image for representational purpose only. Photo Courtesy: istock


Relationships are a lot of work and it is no secret that they can often be difficult because there are many expectations are some times they don't go according to plan and that may lead to disappointment. 

Expectations, if not met, can ruin even the strongest of bonds. When we set our sights too high, our partners can feel overwhelmed and pressured. Alternatively, when we set our sights too low, we may never be satisfied with what we get. As a result, expectations have the power to drive people apart or bring them together. At their best, they can help us understand what is important to the other person and give us the motivation we need to work through any challenges that arise. But at their worst, they can create unrealistic standards and lead us down a path of disillusionment and bitterness. In short, expectations play a powerful role in how well relationships flourish or disappoint; it is up to us whether we let them help or hurt.


In any relationship, understanding each other's expectations is essential for maintaining a healthy and stable bond. The trouble often arises when those expectations conflict with reality, creating a discrepancy that can eventually lead to frustration and resentment. In order to avoid this situation, it is important to remain aware of the red flags that indicate an imbalance of expectations in a relationship. These may include behaviours such as making excessive demands or projecting incorrect attitudes onto one's partner. By identifying these warning signs early on and addressing them as needed, couples can help ensure that their expectations are in alignment with the realities of their relationship. With effort and patience, they will be able to enjoy all the joys and successes that come with maintaining a healthy, supportive partnership.



If you find that your relationship is not as fulfilling as you would like it to be, Chandni Tugnait, M.D. (Alternative Medicines), psychotherapist, founder and director -- Gateway of Healing says, look at these eight expectations that may be destroying your relationship:


1. Your partner will always make you happy: No one person can ever make another person happy all the time. It's simply not possible. So, expecting your partner to always make you happy is setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, focus on finding happiness within yourself and being grateful for the times when your partner does make you happy.

2. Your partner will never make you angry or upset: Again, no one is perfect. So, it's unrealistic to expect that your partner will never do anything to anger or upset you. What's important is how you deal with those negative emotions when they do arise. Avoid saying things out of anger and try to see things from your partner's perspective. Remember, fighting is not always a bad thing; it can help you resolve conflict and grow closer as a couple.

3. Your partner will always agree with you: It's healthy to have disagreements with your partner from time-to-time. It shows that you're both able to express yourselves freely and aren't afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Trying to always get your partner to agree with you is not only unrealistic, but it can also be suffocating.

4. Your partner will never change: People change. It's a natural part of life. So, expecting your partner to never change is setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, try to accept the fact that people change and that your partner may change in ways that you don't always agree with, just as you would too.

5. Your relationship will always be perfect: No relationship is perfect. There will always be ups and downs. If you're constantly expecting perfection from your relationship, you're likely to be disappointed. There will be good times and there will be bad times but if you're weathering the storms together, your relationship will be just fine. Focus on the good aspects of your relationship and try to work through the tough times together.

6. Love should always feel like butterflies and rainbows: Love isn't always going to feel like fireworks every single day. In fact, most days it's going to feel ordinary. That's okay! Love is still there even on the mundane days; it just might not feel as exciting as it does on those rare special occasions.

7. Your partner will never make mistakes: We all make mistakes and it's important to remember that your partner is human too. Cut them some slack when they do something wrong and don't hold their mistakes against them forever.

8. Your partner will always be available: One of the most common and harmful expectations people have in relationships is the expectation that their partner will always be available. Whether it's for a date night or a last-minute emergency, expecting your partner to drop everything and be available whenever you need them is unhealthy and unrealistic. Everyone has commitments and obligations outside of their relationship, so it's important to respect your partner's time and space.

There are many challenges that can put strain on a relationship, and one of the most common is the conflict between expectations and reality. When two people enter a partnership, they inevitably have different ideas about how things should be -- whether it's regarding finances, parenting styles, or other areas. However, when these differences are not fully reconciled, they can quickly turn into a source of tension and conflict in the relationship. In fact, it is often these unmet expectations that can ultimately tear an otherwise strong bond apart.

At the heart of this issue is the fact that people often either underestimate or overestimate what their partner is capable of. On one hand, you may place unrealistic demands on your partner or expect them to fulfill needs that only you can address yourself. On the other hand, you may fail to understand your partner's limitations and thus devalue their input or contribution.

In order to foster healthier relationships and avoid unnecessary disappointment and conflict, it is important to learn how to manage expectations wisely, being honest about what one needs while also recognising one's partners' limitations and respecting their opinions on how things should be done. By doing so, one can maintain healthier relationships built on mutual respect rather than conflicting expectations that lead to toxicity and distrust.

Also Read: About 49 per cent of men believe they are expected to initiate contact first on dating apps: Survey

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