Emotional self-regulation is gaining popularity as the most effective form of self-care. Here’s why it matters and how you can incorporate it into your routine
Representation pic
It wasn’t so long ago that self-help gurus on Instagram were touting elaborate skincare routines as the most wholesome form of self-care. Not anymore. Self-care has finally broached the skin barrier to reach deeper within. Inner peace is now the biggest flex. Much of this shift can be attributed to the constant overstimulation that we’re exposed to on a daily basis. As a generation, we’re waking up to the harsh reality that all the sheet masks in the world can’t wipe out the impacts of elevated cortisol levels and sleepless nights.
The butterfly hug is an effective way to reassure your brain, and calm down anxiety
As psychologist Namrata Jain explains, “Emotional self-regulation is quietly becoming the foundation of modern mental health care. Today, whether you are speaking with a therapist, a start-up founder, or a tired parent, the quest is the same: to feel grounded and calm in an increasingly chaotic world.” She adds that the post-pandemic rise in anxiety, burnout and chronic stress has compelled people to look inwards. “People are not just mentally drained, but their bodies are showing signs of emotional overload too. That’s because mental health is not just about thoughts, it is about how the body holds and processes emotions,” she elaborates.
Long-term anxiety, burnout and stress can affect physical health, and require emotional recalibration. Representation pics/istock
Enter emotional self-regulation — the ability to calm yourself, not by ignoring or suppressing what you are feeling, but by learning how to meet your emotions with effective tools. Emotional intelligence coach Dr Taylor Elizabeth likens emotional self-regulation to responding, instead of reacting, to life. “Just as our physical body needs rest days to rebuild, our nervous system needs quiet moments to recalibrate. These moments reintroduce ease into the body and build long-term resilience, focus, and emotional clarity,” she says.
Calm on call
“When we engage in breathwork, grounding techniques, or even slow movement, we signal to the brain and body that we are safe. The vagus nerve plays a vital role here — it acts as a communication bridge between the body and the brain. Stimulating it through techniques like humming, cold splashes, or long exhalations helps transition us from stress to steadiness,” explains Dr Elizabeth. Jain adds, “Calm is not a thought; it is a physiological state. Our nervous system has two major modes: fight or flight [which keeps us alert] and rest and digest [which allows us to restore]. The goal is not to eliminate stress but to know how to switch gears when we need to.” She suggests the following strategies to activate calm:
Techniques like orienting and the physiological sigh help de-escalate stress and rebalance oxygen levels
>> Orienting: This technique involves gently looking around your environment and letting your eyes settle on things that feel pleasant or neutral. From a neurobiological standpoint, orienting activates the ventral vagal complex — a part of the parasympathetic system associated with safety and social connection. It sends cues to the brain that there is no immediate threat, reducing
sympathetic arousal.
>> Humming: Humming creates vibration around the larynx and vocal cords, directly stimulating the vagus nerve. This stimulation has been shown to lower heart rate, decrease inflammation and increase heart rate variability (HRV), a biological marker of resilience and relaxation. Sometimes, just humming in the shower can improve vagal tone, helping the nervous system shift from high alert to restoration.
Taylor Elizabeth and Namrata Jain
>> The Butterfly Hug: Crossing your arms and rhythmically tapping each shoulder stimulates both hemispheres of the brain, a method used in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) therapy to process emotional distress. This bilateral stimulation helps reduce activity in the amygdala, the brain’s alarm center and enhances connectivity in the prefrontal cortex, which governs rational thinking and emotional regulation.
>> Cold face immersions or ice baths: Exposing your face or body to cold water triggers the dive reflex, slowing your heart rate and activating the parasympathetic nervous system. This, in turn, calms stress rapidly and restores a sense of safety. Even 30 seconds of dipping your face in ice cold water or a brief ice bath can shift you from overwhelm to
grounded presence.
>> The Physiological Sigh: This is a specific breathing technique that involves two short inhalations through the nose, followed by a long exhalation through the mouth. This helps reduce carbon dioxide buildup in the bloodstream and rebalances oxygen levels, signalling the nervous system to de-escalate from stress mode. It is one of the fastest known ways to induce a state of physiological calm.
Finally, overwhelm thrives in silence, Jain points out. And so, sometimes simply naming and acknowledging what you are feeling — ‘I am feeling irritated’ or ‘I feel anxious’ — can reduce the emotional charge. “I also encourage micro-practices: brief pauses between tasks, resetting your breath before a meeting, or even taking 10 seconds to place a hand on your chest and check in. Physical movement, even gentle stretching, helps release emotional build-up. And carving out daily ‘white space’ — time with no input — is more powerful than most people realise,” assures Dr Elizabeth, pointing out that a nervous system reset doesn’t need to be elaborate: it can be a five-minute walk without your phone, a quiet tea ritual, or a full exhale while sitting in the car.
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