Experts decode New Year anxiety and share ways to cope

The pressure is real Although threefourth of the world eats dances and makes merry over planet earth completing one more revolution around the sun not everybody shares that joy A new year might not instinctively usher every human into happinessFor some the enthusiastic optimism can be overwhelming And with a majority celebrating the event with gusto the anxious kind feels alone in their apprehensions On December 30 2022 this writer noticed trending newyearanxiety posts on social media The Reels and posts have continued through the first week of 2023 However the only heartening detail about this trend is mdash at least virtually mdash a community of counsellors and sufferers are reaching outThrowing light on the reality of this state of mind two citybased experts walk us through its triggers and management strategiesAccept yourselfHoori Shah Deshpande psychologistBefore we analyse what fans the fear of new beginnings itrsquos important to understand how and why people feel its pressure during this time of the yearFor any anxious person the new year suggests another blank canvas We do not know whatrsquos in store for us And whenever we face something unknown we fall back upon similar instances in the past to gauge accordingly The past few years havenrsquot been kind to most of us and right before Christmas a new variant of the COVID19 virus showed up The link to these occurrences should notbe ignoredSome of my clients have confided in me about how this time of forced positivity spurs disenchantment in them I have been able to connect this kind of anxiety to a general duress that springs from any kind of resolution or promise made to oneself This unnecessary duress can be avoided if one starts off with realistic goals Demand only what you can get from yourself By following that tip you wonrsquot end up giving up on your goals midway I suggest appreciating yourself for every big and small effort you have put into your purposeRemember that no two journeys are the same We should refrain from attaching conditions to our value based on what others are doing or exhibiting on social media Our value canrsquot depend on a trip or car we have strived to achieve We have to accept ourselves and another personrsquos growth as separate events If we try to cultivate this mindset we would also encourage empathy where we are happy with our progression and with the success of our peers too An inward gazeTanisha Guin social impact consultant and life coachI think anybody who is able to identify a worrisome mental state especially during the initial months of the year should stop comparing themselves with their peers In my professional capacity I have observed that we constantly pit our aspirations against those of our friends and coworkers We tell ourselves that their ambitions are our own by repeating a makebelieve story in our heads Apart from creating a stressful atmosphere we also set out to achieve unrealistic ideals Instead we should pause and take stock of our growth so far Itrsquos vital to ask why we want what we think we want Once thatrsquos answered we will know who we truly are Try these tips A new year encourages fresh starts It allows us to see things from a new perspective But come to think of it itrsquos just another day of the year Do not ascribe the quality of ldquoan only chancerdquo with this day You donrsquot need to figure out the rest of the year in a day or even a week In fact focus on giving each day equal importance and work slowlybut steadily The human mind thinks too highly of its future selves Itrsquos funny how during the last week of the year we want to chill and soak in the festive cheer and suddenly mdash 10 days into the year mdash we expect to function at our best Thatrsquos improbable Try to focus on a patient journey and set the bar 20 to 22 per cent higher than your current performance We create the problem by setting the bar 80 per cent higher that our abilities To deal with anxiety some people prefer planning in advance I do that myself but we must accept that we canrsquot plan everything to the T Leave scope for life to take you on its spontaneous journey and prepare to realign your goals mdash albeit on a different route mdash when that happens By following that you let yourself live in the present Check on yourself more frequently If you think you have not been able to meet a desired end find the reasons Was it because you fell short or was it because you procrastinated Could you have avoided procrastination If yes try doing better next time If not give yourself another chance Never play the blame game with yourself Those who are comfortable doing regular things at home even on special days like the New Yearrsquos Eve should own their experiences Later on when you see pictures of your friends partying you shouldnrsquot feel bad You should rather check if you feel FOMO or JOMO If itrsquos the former then you could find some time for revelries that you can keep up with Track clarity of intent Before feeling your day wasnrsquot as good as somebody elsersquos analyse if they share the same responsibilities and likes I strongly recommend a strategy called WOOP W stands for your wish O stands for the outcome you wish for and how your life would look once it has been met the other O represents the Obstacles you might pose for yourself based on factors or traits that have sidelined you in the past and P means Plan These are the basic steps to have pragmatic expectations from the year and yourself Start planning by setting rational time frames to each job Missing your goal doesnrsquot mean yoursquove failed even if it was your 50th tryCase studyCommunication manager Preanka S has seen her anxiety levels rise during the turn of the year The 33yearold shares ldquoIt usually peaks before Christmas and persists through the first few weeks of the year I feel annoyed with everyone ascribing so much importance to one date The resolutions keep piling on one after the other Itrsquos just too much pressure for me because it keeps reminding me that I need to have a list of things I have either achieved or will achieverdquo she explains She adds that staying away from parties and spending quality time with her family help her cope