It will be difficult for you to accept, but you have to separate your own sadness from his grief and his personal decisions
Illustration/Uday Mohite
There have been many problems in my married life for a while because my husband and I can’t agree on most things. We have been married for six years and the situation has become worse with every year. It has now reached a stage where, whenever we have an argument, he locks me out of the bedroom and refuses to talk to me for days. This is childish and cruel behaviour, but he doesn’t even want to speak to a counsellor, which leaves me with very few options. I am ready to end this marriage and walk away, but I also want to make sure I don’t regret it by giving up too soon. Is there anything I can do to make it work if he isn’t being cooperative?
I’m afraid there’s nothing you can do without your husband’s willingness to cooperate. All relationships are about partnerships, and you taking the onus of trying to make this work on your own will not make much difference beyond a point. It’s also cruel to lock a partner outside a room, and a sign of emotional immaturity that borders on abuse. I suggest you tell your husband that you’re willing to try one more time if he wants to save this marriage. If he isn’t interested in speaking with a counsellor, you must simply assume he isn’t interested in fixing this problem either. If that is the case, give yourself a deadline and come up with a plan that allows you to decide what works best in your interests going forward.
Is it strange for my father to move on quickly after my mother’s death and begin dating again? Am I wrong for thinking that this isn’t fair?
Your father is entitled to a life of his own because he isn’t just a parent. If this bothers you, talk to him about it and listen to his side. It will be difficult for you to accept, but you have to separate your own sadness from his grief and his personal decisions.
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