What should I do to fix this situation?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I wanted to surprise my girlfriend on her birthday and decided to meet her at the office. When I got there, I was told she was out to lunch with her colleagues. I waited and, when she returned, I saw that it was just one male colleague with her. She was surprised to see me but then introduced me to the guy. Later, when I asked why I was told she was out with colleagues while it was just one person, she brushed it off by saying more people were supposed to join but couldn’t because of work deadlines. I accepted her explanation but am concerned about this colleague because I don’t know if she has any feelings for him. I know I am being unreasonable, but it’s eating me up and I am beginning to doubt her. How do I stop feeling this way?
You say you have accepted her explanation, but obviously haven’t. You say you are being unreasonable but doubt her even though she has given you no reason to. You went to her place of work without informing her and expected her to not have a life outside the one she shares with you. The only person who can stop you from feeling this way is you. I suggest you remind yourself that, without trust, you don’t have a relationship. To doubt her is a sign of disrespect, because of the implication that she is lying to you when she isn’t. If you have a problem, ask her a direct question.
My girlfriend decided to go on a holiday with friends and, since she returned, she has been a little distant towards me. I don’t know what happened on the trip and if her friends said something about me that has changed how she feels about our relationship. What should I do to fix this situation?
You can stop jumping to conclusions, for one, and have a conversation with her about why she seems distant. Why assume her friends have said something without reason?
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