Why question it when you can ask him directly? If he doesn’t have a response that makes sense to you, take the next step based on what your expectations are
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My boyfriend is a great person, but his mother looks down on me all the time. She acts as if he can’t make any decision without her, and this gets in the way of our own plans because he needs her approval for everything. He’s not a mummy’s boy or anything, but there is still an overwhelming need for him to check with her before he does anything, and this always creates some issues between us. I often get the sense that she doesn’t think I’m right for her son, or good for him, and this affects my confidence, so I avoid going to his place as much as possible. Is there anything I can do to improve this situation before it affects this relationship in ways I won’t be able to control?
If this is a problem, your boyfriend needs to know about it. Avoiding his mother may not work because you’re simply brushing the issue aside. Try and engage with her instead, and let her get to know you better. This may not be easy because she may not empathise with you, but all relationships call for some kind of compromise until they can be resolved or rejected. If your efforts don’t pay off, there’s nothing you can do, and you should accept that you have done your best. If your boyfriend understands how serious this is, the onus on trying to make this easier for you is also on him. It may take time to resolve, but you should also consider your interests and mental health before committing to working on this. If it gets to a point where you can’t deal with it anymore, ask yourself if the relationship is worth the effort.
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We live together but I am questioning my boyfriend’s willingness to commit to a more permanent situation. What should I do?
Why question it when you can ask him directly? If he doesn’t have a response that makes sense to you, take the next step based on what your expectations are.
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