Learn from your past and accept what happens when you’re ready for it. She may even be the kind of person you’ve been looking for all along
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a 49-year-old and I recently separated from my wife. We had a difficult marriage and tried everything to make it work but, after 15 years, decided it was just not worth the trouble. We have no children, so it was easy to make a clean break. I have been alone for six months now, and recently began going out with a woman my age, who is also divorced. She thinks we should move in together and I like her a lot, but I’m worried about doing this too quickly because I don’t know how I feel about it. From her point of view, the sooner we try this, the easier it will be for us to get on with our lives because we’re not getting any younger. I’m nervous because I don’t want to rush into anything that prevents me from meeting someone who may be genuinely my partner for the rest of my life. How do I make a decision?
You won’t know what your idea of a perfect partner is until you meet that person and get to know them better. Yes, moving in may solve that, but you should also do it when you are both excited about the idea, not when only one of you believes in it. Take your time, tell her why you want to get into it slowly, and don’t put any pressure on yourself. Learn from your past and accept what happens when you’re ready for it. She may even be the kind of person you’ve been looking for all along.
My girlfriend wants me to be more polite, and I try, but she always misunderstands my tone and assumes I am being rude. This is just the way I speak. What can I do to convince her not to feel this way?
You can’t convince her not to feel a certain way because she is entitled to her feelings. If she says you come across as rude, you simply have to try harder and fix it.
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