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I’ve never dated long-term...

Updated on: 22 February,2024 06:50 AM IST  |  Mumbai
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It simply means that you haven’t met someone who helps you grow yet. It will happen

I’ve never dated long-term...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 27-year old woman and I have never had a long-term relationship. I have been in a few relationships that start out well, and last a few months, but the longest I have been with someone has been one year. I don’t know if it’s because of something I’m doing wrong, but I worry that if I don’t figure this out soon, I will end up struggling to find someone I can spend a lifetime with. I try and be patient, am open to how my partners think or behave, but I can never seem to hold on to one person for too long because it starts to feel as if I am the one who is stagnating. How do I fix this?
You can start by being more accepting of who you are and what you like or dislike about a person. There is no rule that says you must want to be with someone even if you aren’t interested in them anymore. There is also no benchmark for how long a relationship is supposed to last, because you and your partner alone should have to consider that. Why not try and think about what you’re looking for, and what your expectations for the future are like, because that sort of clarity can be empowering when you date someone new. Talk about your expectations and see how they match with your partner’s, and also give yourself time to get to know them better. Lastly, don’t be hard on yourself if you feel like a relationship isn’t going anywhere. It simply means that you haven’t met someone who helps you grow yet. It will happen.

I like my boyfriend a lot, but my friends only have negative things to say about him, which bothers me at times because it makes me feel as if I am making a mistake. What should I do?
Your friends may have your best interests at heart but remember that you alone are qualified to make decisions about your personal life.

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