How can I make this attitude towards him change
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a 38-year old woman and have been married to a man my age for five years now. We became parents to a boy three years ago, and I feel as if I have not been attracted to my husband since then. I can’t explain why because he hasn’t changed as a person. He is still sweet and kind, and continues to love me the way he always has. I tried all kinds of things to fix this but haven’t been able to and I am worried because this will obviously affect the rest of our lives. I haven’t spoken to him about this because I don’t know how he will react, but I want to find a solution so I don’t need to have that conversation. How can I make this attitude towards him change?
If you are committed to spending the rest of your life with this man, don’t you owe him honesty even if it is a difficult subject to discuss? It is only by trying to work through problems together that you can strengthen your relationship and find a way of moving forward. If you need the help of a professional, you should take it, because an outside perspective can often work wonders. It’s normal for perspectives to change after one becomes a parent, and speaking to a counsellor can help you address aspects of this that you may not have considered or have chosen not to deal with. This doesn’t have to be a problem if you are honest with yourself and your partner.
Should I set my best friend up with another girl I know well even if I think they may not be perfectly compatible?
If you have reasons for this, it may make sense to simply introduce them to each other and let them figure out if they have enough common ground to work on a potential relationship. If they aren’t compatible, nothing compels them to get into a relationship, so why worry about hypothetical situations you can’t control?
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