Get rich quick

If you're out of a job and seek help from astrologers, you will shell out whatever money you have for lucky charms. One person's getting rich for sure, and it's not you

Get rich quick

If you're out of a job and seek help from astrologers, you will shell out whatever money you have for lucky charms. One person's getting rich for sure, and it's not you

>>Reporter visits three soothsayers with cooked-up problem
>>All three suggest remedies, none makes out the problem is fake
>>They say the 'problem' will be solved within 10 to 30 days
>>One tries to sell 'jobless boy' a rudraksha for Rs 6,000

Lost your job? Don't worry. Your good times start around the time you step into an astrologer's office. At least, that's what they tell you... MiD DAY visits three astrologers with a "job problem" and records their responses.
What we found: All three claimed they had the power to land me a job, but not one could make out I had just cooked up the problem in the first place. None made any consideration for someone supposedly out of a job.

Ready 'remedies' for a non-existent problem

In fact one of the soothsayers recommended a remedy that cost Rs 6,000!

Just bead it

Kamal N Seetha, a rudra therapist, visits the city from time to time and holds consultations in swanky hotels.

Fee: It's free but the rudrakshas start from Rs 2,000 and problems are solved ONLY after you buy it.

Problem: "I am insecure about my job. Even after putting in a lot of effort, I don't get results. I also have a lot of family problems."

Solution: It's all because of a bad patch and things could be set right if the client wore either a Gaurishankar rudraksha or an Ashtamukhi (eight-faced) rudraksha around my neck.

Where do we get it? "It is with us. The Gaurishankar will cost you Rs 6,000 and the Ashtamukhi will cost you Rs 2,700. We also have a pundit who will perform the required rituals within 10 minutes and you can wear it right away," Seetha said.

How long will it take to work? "It will certainly clear all your problems but it will take at least 11-15 days for the effects to show."

Which rudraksha is better? "Gaurishankar," the pundit said. "I will perform the puja right now for you."

We weren't carrying enough money... "The earlier you wear it, the better for you. It will work for you 101 per cent. People buy rudrakshas worth Rs 1 lakh from us," the pundit said.

Handmade solutions

S K Ramakrishna, an astropalmist, has been operating from his office in Hotel Brindavan, M G Road, for over five years.

Fee: Rs 500 for one consultation and a handmade locket will cost you anything above Rs 1,500.

Problem: "I was doing well at work but was laid off. I have not been getting any offers for two months."

Solution: "Remove your footwear, wash your hands and take a seat." Then,u00a0 "In the name of Goddess Lakshmi, please give Rs 500 first."

He requested my colleague to go outside as it was a personal consultation.

"Please take this seashell with both hands and drop it on the table," he said.

As I did so, he looked into my eyes and said, "Number eight".

What did it mean?

He smiled, "You are a very lucky guy but unfortunately, someone has worked black magic on you. That's why you are not succeeding on the job front."

He then looked at my palms and said: "You have a bright future, you will go abroad and prosper in life but your colleagues will harm you."

After a pause, he said: "I will perform a puja and prepare a locket for you which will get rid of the spells. But you have to pay me now and I will give it to you tomorrow."

How much? Just Rs 2,000.

The astrologer took out documents showing orders worth Rs 50,000 and said,u00a0 "Trust me, it will solve all your problems and you will get a job in 10-11 days."

Mr Gems Bond

Umesh Jois, e-astrologer, has an office in Padmanabhanagar but also operates through e-mails or chat and even visits you at home.

Fee: Rs 400-500 per consultation but gemstones cost Rs 4,500 and above.

Problem: "I have appeared for an interview. Will I get the job? I keep attending interviews but never get selected."

Solution: The e-astrologer took out his laptop and entered my details. After some numerical calculations, he showed me a chart. It said: "My Nakshatra is Makha and Rasi is Simha (Sun). I am not getting a job offer these days not due to recession but due to sadesathi (bad days)."

"Don't worry, be happy. Your favourable time started yesterday, that's why you are meeting me," Jois said.

What about the interview? He declared: "I am 100 per cent sure you will get the job this time."

He asked me to remove my coral gemstone from my right index finger immediately and wear a ruby gemstone instead.

"Your good period started on 1 June 2009 and will continue till 31 July 2009. Your golden period will begin from 20 December 2009 onwards."

He asked me to pay Rs 400, gave me an iron ring to wear on my middle finger and a mantra Aditya Hrudayam to chant every Sunday morning.