'My guy is just using me...'

Dear Diana,
I'm 31 and seeing a man who is my age. We've been together for more than two years now. He is caring and nice, but I often get this feeling that he is with me to satisfy his sexual urges. When I say no, he gets angry and does not talk to me for days. I have to beg him to talk to me again. I feel I am a puppet in his hands with him deciding what to do.
— Vijaya

Illustration/ Amit Bandre
Illustration/ Amit Bandre 

Dear Vijaya,
You allowed him to have an upper hand all this while for the fear of losing him. You did whatever he wanted because of sheer love. You did not want to annoy him and face his wrath. So he has been used to the situation. He demands and you give in. No wonder you feel like a putty in his hands. Start thinking for yourself. If you are feeling used, tell him so in no uncertain terms what you think of his behaviour. You can't give in to his demands every time. The very fact that you are feeling that you are being used is a clear sign that things are amiss. In an equal relationship, partners must listen to the other and try to understand the other's viewpoint.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012



  • ved06-Feb-2014

    Why do you have to ask this silly question to other tu kya g00 khati hai that someone is using you and u can't understand it. and now if u argue with him for sure the result will be breakup and then guy will say good isse bach tho gaya, then what about u. So think some other way to handle this guy, or put mirchi powder in his c0nd0m

  • RAMANI18-Mar-2014

    You are already 31 years old. Why you allow him to use you for his sexual pleasure before marriage. Demand him to get married you. If he is not agreeing then there is no point in continuing your relationship with this guy who does not love you and is only interested in having physical relationship. You can't trust a person of this kind as he may vanish when he finds some one else.

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