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What's wrong about being friendly with bro-in-law?

Updated on: 05 April,2011 09:02 AM IST  | 
Diana |

My husband's youngest brother is 20. We are very friendly; and others believe we are more so. There is nothing to hide

What's wrong about being friendly with bro-in-law?

Dear Diana,
My husband's youngest brother is 20. We are very friendly; and others believe we are more so.u00a0 There is nothing to hide. However, I do feel a sexual tension growing between us and we both know it. We've seen each other without clothes and he sometimes changes in front of me.

I sometimes help him masturbate. However, he never takes advantage of me. Yet, his family views our relationship with suspicion. I have never cheated on my husband. I even feel he's expressing his social desires a little earlier than he should. I think I will tell my husband about this. I don't know how he is going to take it, though. And frankly, his family's interest in the matter irritates me. What is wrong if I am friendly with my husband's brother?


Name withheld

Dear Friend,

While you may see this as being plain friendly, others in your family may not share that openness. That is something you will have to live with. But helping him masturbate? That's not right on so many levels. You're married to his brother, you should know better. In the very least, you should draw some boundaries to this friendship. Agreed, you may never have cheated on your husband with your brother-in-law.

But there are some things that should never have happened in the first place. Understand that the young man may fancy you on some level despite you being his sis-in-law. And given that you stay with your in-laws, their concern in the matter is obvious and understandable.

Who does a guy go down on?

Dear Diana,

Should a guy go down only on his girlfriend or someone he cares about/loves? Or does he do it just for fun or for reciprocity?


Name withheld

Dear Friend,

That's a guy's prerogative. He may go into unchartered (or not) territory for one or all of those reasons. It all depends on the situation at the time.

Doesn't physical satisfaction matter?

Dear Diana,

I am 26, am physically challenged. I am qualified, have a job, don't want to take on the responsibility of marriage but I want to experience sex. I know marriage is not only about sex but physical satisfaction also matters in life, doesn't it? What should I do?


AK

Dear Friend,
I won't lie. To an extent, it does matter. In fact, in some cases, your dilemma has even made it to TV and film. I suggest you watch a few flicks of this kind to understand (not necessarily emulate) how the protagonists deal with certain situations like the one you mentioned. They are by no means, examples to be followed. Just a reminder that they scaled that mountain (or at least tried to) when they came to it. I'm sure you'll find someone who loves you as you are.

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