Boyfriend says he wants to break up!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend is ending our two-year relationship because he says he is unhappy and doesn't feel like himself anymore. When I asked him to elaborate, he said my personality was too strong and that I was erasing his identity. This was a surprise because I don't remember him saying anything like this in all the time we were together. I don't know if it's an excuse to break up with me or if he genuinely feels that I have caused him harm. I don't want to be that kind of person, so I want a better explanation, but he just wants to end this and move on. I am hurt and angry but can't find a way to deal with this. what should I do?
You can't compel someone to stay in a relationship or give you a better explanation if they don't want to. What you can do is explain why you want to become a better person and ask if he is willing to talk about that instead of your relationship. Just because he hasn't said anything about this before doesn't invalidate his feelings, but being hard on yourself without any information isn't productive either. If there is no further communication on this front, it may make more sense to accept his decision, give him and yourself time to process the grief that is inevitable, and hope that time allows you both to have a conversation about this when you are both ready. Relationships end when two people aren't on the same page, and that is the first thing to accept before assigning blame.

I have been on two dates with a guy who always waits for me to text first. Is this some kind of game where he is establishing boundaries? Am I reading too much into this?
You don't know where this is going, nor do you have any obligation to commit to anything. It's a situation that allows you to ask direct questions.

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