Dr love with Mid-Day: He doesn’t respect boundaries...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am dating someone who doesn't understand the concept of boundaries. He asks me personal questions I am not comfortable with and doesn't seem to get that I don't want to talk about some things. He says we are in a relationship, which means we shouldn't have a problem talking about things that are difficult, but I am just not that person. When I explain this, he says it means I am not as committed to the relationship as he is, which isn't true. How do I get him to accept this aspect of my personality? If he can't, I am afraid he will break up with me, and I don't want that to happen.
You may not want this relationship to end, but you may not be able to prevent that if he can't understand and respect your personal space. There may be love and genuine feelings involved, but you have every right to avoid discussing or doing anything you don't want to, and a partner who can't accept that is going to ruin this relationship whether you want it or not. If he chooses to be an open book, that is his prerogative, but you don't have to follow any lead. Ask yourself what you are willing to give up for this to work and be honest about the compromises you are willing to make. Relationships that last long are built upon mutual respect and that should be non-negotiable.

I'm jealous that my boyfriend could be talking to prettier girls when he goes to the office. How do I deal with these feelings? It's making me doubt everything even though I have no real proof or reason to feel this way.
The fact remains that your boyfriend is in a relationship with you, not with someone from his office. If he doesn't want to be with you, he won't, and there's nothing you can do about that. If you can't build trust and have more faith in him, there will be no future with this person.

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